Brigid Goes to Her High School Reunion

First off, let's get this straight--I was not popular in high school.  I had friends, I participated in extracurricular activities, I was generally happy, but I was, quite simply, not one of the cool kids.  And that's all fine and good, really, especially since I left immediately after graduation and continued my streak of un-coolness in college.  I only state this so you get right off that I wasn't returning to beautiful Iowa (insert livestock or corn joke here) to prove anything or to relive old glories. So why did I go back for my 30th high school reunion?

Story value.

Our flight going to Iowa was over seven hours late, so we didn't even show up at the bar where everyone was gathering on Friday night until around midnight.  Bad thing about this: everyone had been drinking since 8 p.m. and there was catching up to do.  Good thing about this: everyone had been drinking since 8 p.m. and let's face it, I look much better (particularly after 30 years) when everyone's got four hours worth of serious drinking under their belts.

During the two hours at the bar that Friday night, here's what I learned:

• You really, really don't want to hear, "You look exactly the same!" when you're shown your senior picture in the yearbook and in it you bear a very strong resemblance to David Cassidy. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that I inherited decent skin and I never got into the sun worshipping thing, but I think I would've rather heard, "You look a little better than you did in high school."  (I did have the refrain of "I Think I Love You" in my head for most of the next day.)
• It's never, never a good idea to load up on mood-enhancing pharmaceuticals and then mix them with liquor before showing up for a reunion, although it does provide cheap entertainment for the others in the class.
• If you're at your reunion and you see someone at the bar you think is someone's dad, it's not.  It's the guy from your class and yes, he has actually morphed into his father during the past 30 years.
• Remember that one bully, the guy who would torture the nerdy kids and who did all those terrible things but never got caught?  Yeah, he's pretty much the same 30 years later, but now he drinks too much and you almost (almost!) have to feel sorry for him because, after all, a liver can only take so much abuse before it gives up completely.
• It's good to bring a Trophy Husband to stuff like this.  One idiot said to me, "I can't believe you married someone good-looking!"  Yes, indeed, we're all stunned.
• You don't need to ask someone you went to high school with how old they are, since last time I checked everyone ages at the same rate, and we were all roughly the same age when we graduated.
• Although it may sound harmless at the time, it's never ever a good idea to plan a breakfast with old friends of your parents' for the morning after you've been up drinking beer until 2 a.m.  Just trust me on this one.

There's more, but I think that'll do for now.  Let's call this Part I.  Still to come: Touring the Old High School, Going to Mass at the Old Parish, and Getting Arrested on Saturday Night.  (I made that last one up. No one got arrested, not because they didn't deserve it, but mostly because we have classmates who grew up and became law enforcement professionals and they kept a lid on things.)